Living What the Heart Knows

Be still.

And know.

I am God.

Psalm 46:10

I do not recall if I have stated it here, but the simple fact is I am exhausted on all levels--spiritually, mentally, emotionally, and thus, physically. The last four years have taken a large toll, and I have reached the bottom of my reserves.

For a variety of reasons, I have tried to battle on anyway.

I was afraid if I stopped writing, no one would be here to read it when I returned.

I was afraid if I admitted my utter exhaustion, I would get what I got last week and people would tell me to stop being weak and to man up and fulfill my destiny and who did I think I was to sit around when the world is going to hell in a handbasket?

I was afraid people would think I am weak because I didn't just dig deeper or find that other gear or hit that extra switch. Except there is nothing else to dig into. I have no other gear, and all my switches are running on high.

I was afraid of failing God by not taking responsibility for my gifts and using them to build the kingdom and bless others.

I was afraid if I didn't lay a certain foundation or take certain steps then I wouldn't have made the right preparations to receive my personal promises He has made.

"Have I not commanded you?
Be strong and courageous.
Do not be afraid.
Do not be discouraged,
For the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go."
--Joshua 1:9--

Last night I spent about two hours talking with a friend. We both know God always answers prayers, so where was the answer? We talked through the "stuff" until it became loud and clear.

"Take some personal time."

In case I missed it, I hopped on Facebook earlier today, and my friend Lisa had posted a picture with Psalm 46:10 on it. :-)

I won't bore you with the details of the whole conversation with my friend or with the Lord after the phone conversation. I might write about it someday, but for now, the pertinent information is...

For the next three months, I am taking "personal time". I will not be blogging, writing for a deadline or clear purpose, ministering in a formal way, or any other activities requiring energy beyond raising my kids and making a home. Whenever my Healer and Great Physician say I am allowed to return, I will, and I hope y'all are all here to catch up with then.

Until then, y'all take care. Be blessed. Know you are loved wildly, and always take time to...

Be still
And know.
He is God.

Blessings, y'all!

Come Unto Me...And I Will Give You Rest

I have tried multiple times to write a blog post about why I have gotten so quiet.

In short, physically I am very tired. The multiple oral surgeries, headcold, loss of sleep, being the only parent, and life have left me physically exhausted, and after much prayer, I have agreed with God to rest and sleep until I'm not sleepy anymore and all my mental faculties are actually functioning again.

Mentally and emotionally, which is a lot of folks' concerns since we just came through February, after much prayer on some things, the directive, "Stand down," is loud and clear, so I am.

Spiritually, it's an intense time, and if you have ever gone through an intense time of restoration with God, I don't have to tell you. If you haven't, it won't matter if I do, so just know the beautiful thing is I am in one of the most intense rest and restoration experiences of my life, and I am excited about the end result. There is peace beyond anything I can describe...along with the emotional upheaval that goes with the process.

So, the summary is simply that I am exhausted on all levels, and it's time to stand down, so I've stepped off the internet and phone and text and am spending a lot of time simply sitting in His presence. It's good. It's not always easy, but it's good.

And for those wondering, you can email/text me (I prefer to avoid FB messages if possible). I will reply. :-) I'm not on an electronics fast, just letting all of me do some healing. Thank you for caring, wondering, asking, and praying. You are gifts beyond measure, and I thank God for you. <3

February 24, 2014--Exodus 7-9, Military Support; When You Can't Think Straight, You Remember

PRAYER

Daddy,

It is Military Monday, and I’m concerned about our military. I am concerned about the government’s lack of respect for our military. Right now we are in election season, and I ask you to put men and women in office who support our military. I ask you to put leaders in all areas of care and policy that truly want to serve our military men and women.

 Daddy, our military sacrifices so much for us. I ask you to stand for those who stand for our military and stand against those who don’t. That simple. You said you would bless those who bless me and curse those who curse me. Anyone who does not supply and support the military you have put in place to protect and serve my family curses me and my family. I ask you to keep your word and stand against them. On the other hand, for those who support our military, fight for their benefits, see to serve them and get them care they need, bless my family. I ask you to bless them. Do what you need to do to take care of our military and their families.

 Thank you for being a warrior God who loves our warriors.

Amen

 BIBLE READING

Exodus 7— First of all, telling people what they don’t want to hear, even when you know it is God, is not the easiest thing. And second, why in the world would you make more blood when it was already everywhere and the whole land stunk from it? This is insane to me!

Exodus 8—Seriously?! Get rid of the frogs TOMORROW?! Right now!!!

And making more gnats? Speechless.
“NOW pray for me.” It makes me giggle that Moses said, “No problem. The flies will be gone TOMORROW.”

Exodus 9—The truth is, it is easy for me to skim these chapters because I know the stories, but it took me a few readings to realize there are things I didn’t know. The point when these really started to make sense to me, though, was when  I started thinking about it from an Egyptian perspective. The slave labor going away and the change it would cause. The devastation to the land. Seeing it destroy Egypt but not Goshen. What was it like for the Hebrews? They watched God take on every “god” of the Egyptians and destroy them. So why did they worry in the desert? And I think Pharaoh was crazy, but he believed he was deity. He believed somehow he was going to come out on top, and even if he didn’t win, he couldn’t afford to lose.

 It seems ridiculous, but it makes me slide to my knees and ask the Lord, in my life, when do I stand against you because of my pride, my tradition, my refusal to let go of something I want? Do I ever know I can’t win, but I am too arrogant to lose?

 MEMORIZATION

 Head cold wins this one. I’m even writing down times when I take my meds, but this I know:

Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death (or a really annoying cold) you are with me.

You comfort me.
You provide for me.
You are preparing the victory for me.
I lack nothing.
Psalm 23, paraphrased from memory.

BIBLE STUDY/JOURNAL

The point of memorizing scripture is to hold on to what you know when you are too sick or tired to learn something new. A broad base of verses is good because then no matter what comes, you have a place to stand firmly.

 
Copyright 2014 Jerri Kelley Phillips

February 23, 2014--Exodus 4-6, It was Never About What Moses Could Do, Luke 6

Still letting my body fight this head cold. It isn’t my favorite thing, but I am amazed at how much less miserable I am now than I was three months ago before all the oral surgeries. It has not been an easy road. Truth be told, multiple times along the way I wondered if I had made a mistake, if I had chosen badly, but the truth is there was no other choice. It has left me pondering…

PRAYER

Daddy,

Thank you for taking me through hard times of healing so the rest of life is better. Thank you for your mercy, even when I hate the pain. You are good.

Amen.

BIBLE READING

Exodus 4 —God got mad at Moses. Do you have any idea how much the idea of making God mad because I refuse to be and do what He asks scares me? This has been a scary thought for me my whole life. God wasn’t mad because Moses killed an Egyptian or because he ran away into the desert. He was mad because Moses refused to be obedient. Sin isn’t just doing the wrong thing. Sin is not doing the right thing.

Um, so God was going to kill Moses. Yeah. I got nothing on that one.

Good news is all the Israelites are ready to pack and go. That’s good. Right?

Exodus 5—Well bother. I don’t think anyone hears, “God is for you and is going to save you,” and expects things to get WORSE, but they did, and I can understand the Israelites dressing down Moses and Aaron saying, “You said you were going to help, and look what you’ve done!” And poor Moses. Can you imagine how confused he was? He was supposed to be helping, and instead, his people are suffering worse conditions and being beaten. I can fully understand why he went to the Lord and said, “I’m not understanding this, and this does not look like what you said it would.”

It didn’t look like what God said.

And I think if I were Moses, I would be confused, too, and maybe even hurt. Plus, he didn’t even want to do this gig, but he is, and instead of getting better, it’s worse.

I’d be confused, too.

Exodus 6—As hard as it is to imagine, Pharaoh exerting his power was necessary. The people needed to see Pharaoh at his worst. They needed to see him act against them because it was the only they could truly understand the power of God working for them.

Okay. Never got this before. Prior to this, God was the God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob. NOW, He was going to be the God of the entire nation. He wasn’t just promising one person, He was promising them all.

And still, Moses wasn’t getting it. “Why would Pharaoah listen to me?” He still didn’t know. It wasn’t about him. It was about God.

 

MEMORIZATION

Luke 6

27 “But I say to you who hear: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, 
28 bless those who curse you, and pray for those who spitefully use you.  

Heavy blog coming on this one. I’ll let you know when it is up.

BIBLE STUDY/JOURNAL

It was never about Moses and what he could do. It was always about God and what He said He would do.

Copyright 2014 Jerri Kelley Phillips

February 22, 2014--Exodus 1-3, Standing in What We Don't Know

PRAYER

Daddy,

I can’t think clearly enough for eloquence, so let me just lay it on the table. Israel is your people, and I am asking you to lay their enemies low. I am asking you to bring down the enemies of Israel with a mighty hand. Bring them down like mountains into dust. I ask that anyone who has the audacity to set themselves up against your people see your hand of judgment raised against them. Be with your people and bless them.

Amen

BIBLE READING

Exodus 1—So everybody we used to know is dead, including the nice pharaoh. Fear has come into play, and we try to control or get rid of what we fear. One of the things I love about this chapter is that the midwives feared God and He gave them families of their own. Gotta love God. J

Exodus 2—I cannot imagine how terrifying it was for Moses’ mom to put him in that basket and leave him in that river where wild animals were and who know what would happen to him. I don’t know if she was a woman of faith or a woman of desperation, but that took tremendous courage.

So life is cushy in the palace, and Moses sees an Egyptian hitting a Hebrew, and he snaps. Next thing you know, he’s in a desert getting married and having babies. Do you wonder if Moses ever sat in that desert and wondered if he had blown it? Did he know he was the deliverer for the Hebrews? Did he think he had blown it beyond redemption? Just wondering.

 Exodus 3—Okay, so let me get this straight. If I am Moses, I am thinking, “You want me to go to Pharaoh, the same Pharaoh I made really mad by killing one his men, the same Pharaoh who tried to kill me, and tell him that this God he can’t see wants him to let all the slaves go, and I will know this is you AFTER we are safe on the other side?”

 And I love this. Moses asks, “Who am I to do this?”

 God does not reply with anything about Moses. He answers concerning Himself. “I will be with you.”

 Simple enough. This is NOTHING about you. This is ALL about me. Not hard.

 Except, it is hard, and people sit there and mouth about Moses’ lack of faith, but really, I think I can understand. God is going to be with him, but it’s not like he can take this non-burning bush around with him to prove it, and not only will the Israelites have their doubts, but Pharaoh is going to be difficult and need miraculous proof.

 “And who am I supposed to tell them told me to do this?”

 “I Am that I Am.”

 I mean seriously. Think about this for a moment. Just…yeah, I can see why Moses is a bit hesitant.

 MEMORIZATION

Muddled minds don’t memorize well, so today I’m reading. For reasons I will blog about later, I am reading Proverbs 31. And her Husband shall rise up and call her blessed. So let it be for me, Lord.

BIBLE STUDY/JOURNAL

I am pondering Moses and how easy it is to stand in what we can see instead of walking in what we can't.

 

Copyright 2014 Jerri Kelley Phillips

February 20, Genesis 49 and 50, Everybody's Dead. Now What?

PRAYER

Daddy,

I lift up my community to you, and I know there are a lot of people who don’t know you as Lord and Savior, and I know others know you are God and think that is enough. I ask that you would make me a light in their darkness, that the relationship I have with you would be a beacon to them. Create divine connections and appointments so I can talk to them and you can be glorified. Show me a way into their lives.

Bless these people with healing they need in every area of life. Bless them financially and especially bless them relationally. I know some are looking for healing in their families, and I ask that you would bless them with that.

Give our leaders wisdom, and be glorified in them and their decisions. Lord, may you above all things be the center of this area.

And, Lord, we need rain. I ask that you would send us rain.

In the precious name of Jesus I pray,

 Amen

 BIBLE READING

 Genesis 49—Sometimes I want to go back and actually follow the family lines to see what happened to them. Maybe I’ll do that.

Genesis 50— Two thoughts: 1. Did the Egyptians give this monstrous caravan and honor because this man was Joseph’s father or because of the man himself? Does it say and I just missed it? I don’t know.

2. Why did Joseph weep again? Was it because his brothers were still stuck in their emotional and mental guilt prison or because even after all the time with him, they didn’t know him? Was he grieved because he still didn’t really belong? They still saw him as an outsider?

Done with Genesis!!! How are you feeling?

 

MEMORIZATION

27 “But to you who are listening I say:

Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you,
28 bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you.—Luke 6
 
Do you ever wonder why certain things stick in your head and others you really have to fight for? I’m having to fight for Luke 1:37-38

“No word of the Lord will ever fail.”

“I am the Lord’s servant,” Mary answered. “May it be fulfilled to me as you have said.”
Then the angel left her.
 
37 For no word from God will ever fail.”
38 “I am the Lord’s servant,” Mary answered.
“May your word to me be fulfilled.”
Then the angel left her.

Still fighting for this.

BIBLE STUDY/JOURNAL

 
I have tried to handle this valiantly. However, I am so sleepy I could fall asleep right now, so I think I am going to do just that. I’ll see you tomorrow. Probably later than usual, but I’ll see you.

Blessings,

Jerri

February 19, 2014, Genesis 46-48, Election Prayers, Muppet Mayhem, Obedience

After 8:30, and I’m just getting to this. Up with kids most of the night, one sick and one with a neck injury, and to curb the sinus overabundance, I tried some allergy medication, which has had me either a sleep or a in fog most of the day. Days like this happen, and it is easy to get discouraged and wonder why I try because after all, it’s after 8:30 at night, and who is going to read it anyway?

Well, the truth is I don’t know if anyone is going to read it, but I made a commitment to do this to the best of my ability, and today, this is my best. So even if no one reads it, my Lord sees my obedience, and I am learning that is the whole point of life. Obedience. To Him. Even when there is no clear result…because obedience to Him is the only result that matters.

PRAYER

Daddy,

Our nation has started the election process, and I’m asking for people to lead us whose hearts are for you. I don’t care if they are Republican, Democrat, independent, or whatever. I’m simply praying for them to have your heart.

Be with those who are endeavoring to run honorable campaigns. Give them peace.

Stand against those who are liars and cheaters and use manipulation to gain an upper hand.

In accordance with your Word, I ask…

…that you bring an end to the violence of the wicked and make the righteous secure. (Psalm 7:9)

…for the power of the wicked to be broken but for you to uphold the righteous. (Psalm 37:17 )

…for you to cut off the horns of all the wicked but to lift up the horns of the righteous (Psalm 75:10)

…you to rescue the righteous person from trouble and let it fall on the wicked instead (Proverbs 11:8)

…that the righteous would prosper and the city rejoice while the wicked perish (Proverbs 11:10)

…that no one be established through wickedness but that the righteous would not be uprooted (Proverbs 12:3)

…that the wicked would be overthrown and never rise again  but that the house of the righteous stand firm (Proverbs 12:7)

…that no harm would overtake the righteous but that the wicked would have their fill of trouble. (Proverbs 12:21)

…that righteousness would guard the person of integrity but that wickedness would overthrow the sinner (Proverbs 13:6)

…that the light of righteous shine brightly, but the lamp of the wicked be snuffed out (Proverbs 13:9)

Thank you for hearing my prayer on behalf of this nation.

Amen

BIBLE READING

Genesis 46—Oh, seriously. I saw “Muppin” and my brain made it “muppet”. Hard to get anything deeply spiritual out of muppets. Sorry.

Genesis 47—Honestly, I’m too tired for anything deep. But Joseph saved everyone. I did have one thought: what was it like for Pharaoh to be blessed by this man of God? Did Pharaoh know it was powerful? Did he realize he was in the presence of greatness? Did he miss it because he believed he was a god-king? Do I miss things because I think I am above the person giving them to me? Do I realize the gifts and blessings even when  the giver seems so…ordinary?

Genesis 48—So why did the boys get credited to Israel? I don’t know, but again, not a trip through to study, just taking a look around, so I’ll look it up later.

MEMORIZATION

My mantra today.

 ^37 “For no word from God will ever fail.”

³⁸ “I am the Lord’s servant,” Mary answered.
“May your word to me be fulfilled.”
Then the angel left her.
Luke 1

BIBLE STUDY/JOURNAL

I have tried to hand this valiantly. However, I am so sleepy I could fall asleep right now, so I think I am going to do just that. I’ll see you tomorrow. Probably later than usual, but I’ll see you.

Blessings,

Jerri

February 18, 2014 Genesis 43-45, Testing the Family Waters

PRAYER

Tuesdays are the day when I pray about my church, and today I feel at a loss. You ever feel that way? It is really easy not to pray at all because I don’t know what to say, BUT, I’ve made this commitment, and I really want to keep it, and my church needs prayer…..So, I’m just going to start talking and let the Spirit take over.

Lord,

I need your heart for my church. I need to know what is on your mind. I got to church on Sundays, and I look around and wonder what those people are dealing with. I wonder what is hurting them. I wonder how many of them are on the edge and barely hanging on. I wonder how many of them are sitting there thinking if people really knew them they would be mortified. And I think about how crushing that is, and, Lord, if I could give those people anything, I would give them freedom from that. I would hand them Isaiah 61 on a platter. So, Lord, that is what I am praying for my church. I ask you to:

Proclaim good news to the poor. Beyond the pastor’s words, on a spiritual level, in a personal way, give them the good news that they don’t have to live where they are anymore.
Bind up the brokenhearted,
    to proclaim freedom for the captives
    and release from darkness for the prisoners,
   proclaim to them that this is the time when they have favor with you, all the breakthroughs, healings, and blessings they’ve been hoping for, NOW is the time

 and show them that now is when you will act on their behalf and hold accountable those who acted against them, those who left them hurting, broken, and wounded,
 comfort all who mourn,
 and provide for those who grieve in Zion—
 bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes,
the oil of joy instead of mourning,
and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair.

Lord, I ask you to unleash the purpose of Christ on the people in my church for their healing and deliverance and your glory.

Thank you for hearing my petition and acting on behalf of your people.

I ask these things in the holy name of Jesus,

Amen

BIBLE READING

Genesis 43— I didn’t understand Joseph’s reaction to Benjamin until today. I didn’t understand the big emotional reaction to someone he didn’t even know until today. Yesterday I mentioned Joseph wanting to belong somewhere, wanting a connection. I think that was Benjamin. He was a brother to the others, but he wasn’t. The family dynamics made things crazy, then he had dreams, and add the favoritism, and he didn’t belong, but here is a boy who is a real brother who is obviously the favorite now, who might understand. Joseph could finally see a good ending for himself in the family because he saw the good ending Benjamin was living.

Genesis 44—Wow. Talk about a character test. Were they the same? Had things changed? He wanted to know: who were these men NOW?

Genesis 45—“Do not quarrel on the way.” This just makes me giggle.

 MEMORIZATION

Today I found myself repeating Romans 13:15 over and over.

May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in Him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.

I also found myself learning Luke 1:37 and 38

^37 “For no word from God will ever fail.”

³⁸ “I am the Lord’s servant,” Mary answered.
“May your word to me be fulfilled.”
Then the angel left her.

BIBLE STUDY/JOURNAL

Lord…Daddy,

Use my words to bring you glory. Speak to my heart always so my meditations are on you and for you. Please grant that my words would be your words. Grant that my heart would be one of love. Reveal all hard places so I can give them to you and you can fill them and soften them to you and your purpose. Give me compassion and give me wisdom to pick my words carefully. Your Word says Jesus didn’t break a tender reed. Please grant that the same would be said of me. I don’t want to break any tender reeds. I want to see them through your eyes and your heart. Oh, God, that my writing would be healing and never hurtful, that it would bind wounds instead of inflicting them, that I would be more concerned about effectively communicating your truth than structuring a sentence melodically. Daddy, above all things, your heart. I love you. Amen

February 17, 2014 Genesis 40-42, Military Monday, Memory Review, Peace in the Proimse

It is hard to believe it’s been two weeks since I’ve sat down and read and written. I’ve been writing and reading, but I have missed the methodical reading and letting the Lord speak as He wants instead of looking something specific up for my purpose. There is just something incredibly amazing about hearing the Lord whisper His heart. You know?

PRAYER

Military Monday. One of my favorite days. J

Lord,

I ask special protection over our military in active hotspots today. I ask that your presence would be obvious to them. I ask that prayers of their loved ones would come before you as a beautiful aroma and you would honor them. I ask you to give wisdom to the leaders, divine revelation concerning danger zones and strongholds. I ask you to open their eyes to see he enemy even before physical contact is made.

I ask you to give them peace, and, Lord, make their aim true. May the bullets that leave their firearms hit the target for which it is intended, and may your hand guide them in the day of war. Be the perfect marksmen in them and through them.

Confuse the plans of the enemy. May their intelligence be mixed up and contorted. May they find chaos instead of clarity. Be the judge who judges against them and wreaks vengeance upon those who stand against you and your purpose.

Release the Spirit of holy revelation among our troops for the purpose of the salvation of their souls. I ask you to build unity of heart and purpose for I know you bless unity of hearts committed to you and your purpose.

I ask you to empower the chaplains with words of wisdom and courage. Give them insight from your word to speak directly to the hearts and minds of these men and women serving to protect our country’s people. I ask you to embolden them with truth and give them words of healing when comfort is needed.

Accomplish your purpose among those serving in the military. Be glorified in them that they would be an army serving you for your purpose to protect, defend, take ground, and exact judgment. Be their rearguard and the one who goes before them. Encompass them round about with your power and your presence. May they know their victories are not their own but handed to them by the hand of an Almighty God.

Thank you, Father, for being a warrior who fights for His own.

To you be all glory and honor.

In the mighty name of Jesus I pray, Amen

 

BIBLE READING

Genesis 40—Anybody else in the room ever feel forgotten? Yeah. Me either. <insert eye roll> Okay, the truth is I want to make this some major comfort thing. You know. One of those “you’re in good company” rah rah speeches, but the truth is, if you’ve ever been forgotten, you know there is no comforting bright side. It’s just miserable, and you can know God’s timing is perfect, and you can know logically you are fine, but emotionally, it hurts horribly. And if you are feeling forgotten, I’m so sorry. I know it is hard.

Genesis 41—“He has made me forget all my household.” Except Joseph obviously had not forgotten. When his brothers came, Joseph clearly remembered. So obviously he hadn’t mentally forgotten. I haven’t done a word study on this because we’re just reading through, but I’m wondering if Joseph meant God had filled the hole left because of his family. It is a hard thing having no family, having no place to belong. Perhaps this son fills the longing for family and the longing for the family he lost. Not saying it is, just thinking maybe.

Genesis 42—So much goes through my mind with this chapter. I cannot fathom how Joseph felt looking on his brothers and watching them bow down to him. Sure he’d had the dreams, but to see these people—HIS BROTHERS—who had treated him so cruelly bowing to him. I cannot imagine.

 As for his brothers, shame and guilt are heavy burdens to bear.

 And Israel, what unbelievable grief and fear he must have had.

 Talk about a family steeped and overflowing in dysfunction, but even in this mess, God was paving the road for the Messiah. Amazing.

 

MEMORIZATION

I’ve done very little memorizing the last two weeks, so today I am reviewing what I’ve learned, making sure it is still with me.

 
A noble man makes noble plans and by noble plans he stands. Isaiah 32:8

Each one will be like a shelter from the wind,

a refuge from the storm;
Like streams of water in the desert
And like a great rock in a thirsty land. Isaiah 32:2

Be still and know that I am God.

I will be exalted among the nations.
I will be glorified throughout the earth.
Psalm 46:10
Gotta check this one. It doesn’t feel right.

He says, “Be still, and know that I am God;
    I will be exalted among the nations,
    I will be exalted in the earth.”

OH! So close. You would think I could remember the exalted thing twice, right? Gonna run this through my head a few times and move on.

Have I not commanded you?

Be strong and courageous.
Do not be afraid.
Do not be discouraged.
For the Lord your God is with you wherever you may go.
Joshua 1:9

My mind has gone blank on the beginning of Jeremiah 29.

“When seventy years are completed for Babylon, I will come and fulfill my good promise to bring you back to this place. For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with your whole heart. You will seek me and…I will bring you back to this place from which banished you….”

Gotta refresh myself on this one.

¹⁰ This is what the Lord says: “When seventy years are completed for Babylon, I will come to you and fulfill my good promise to bring you back to this place. ¹¹ For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. ¹² Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. ¹³ You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. ¹⁴ I will be found by you,” declares the Lord, “and will bring you back from captivity.^[b] I will gather you from all the nations and places where I have banished you,” declares the Lord, “and will bring you back to the place from which I carried you into exile.”

 BIBLE STUDY/JOURNAL

 Daddy, I don’t even know what to say. I am trying to find something deep in this that isn’t cliché, and really, it all just sounds…it sounds like what has been said over and over and over. The truth is I don’t feel like I’m in a dungeon or a slave. I feel okay with where I am, but sometimes it is hard to figure out how to live in right now when I am waiting for the promise. How do I live in the truth of what is this moment without letting it negate the truth of the promise that seems utterly impossible from here?

That is where I am right now. I know one of the promises you’ve given me, and I’m struggling with it. Right now, it seems a million miles away, or maybe the more accurate thing to say is I feel a million miles away from it.

 I know you tell me not to fear or be discouraged. You say to be bold and courageous, but I confess, I feel neither bold nor courageous. I feel…like hiding in my closet. And right now, I am trying to summon everything I know about taking down giants and vast armies and city walls that fall because people have the faith to keep walking, but none of it is really helping me. So, this is what I am going to do. Instead of trying to make me be what I think I need to be, I’m going to take a deep breath and focus on all I know you are.

 You are my Daddy who loves me.

You are faithful.
You are kind.
You are gentle.
You are loving.
You are fulfilling.
You are tender.
You give blessings without regret.
You are good.
You tend me with gentleness.
Your thoughts are for how you can walk me through this path.
You are my peace.
The way you love me is my peace.
Your whole devotion to me is my peace.
You are my peace.
You are my peace.
You are my peace.
You are my peace.
I will be still and know…you are my peace.
I will be still and know…you are.
I will be still and know…you.

Prayers in my Absence

I know I committed to daily reading and writing, but I am having oral surgery this week and am told to expect a week or two of recovery time. In the meantime, will you pray?

Due to the nature of this surgery, my sinus cavity is at risk of perforating again. To prevent this, I need:
--perfect outcome tomorrow
--no sneezing, sniffling, or needing to blow my nose for three or four weeks

I also need to heal so I can be Mom again.

Would you pray for me for these things?

Thank you.

I'll see you on the other side of this.

Y'all be blessed and know, God loves you deep and wide, deep and wide.

February 2, 2014 Genesis 37-39, Jeremiah 29 Finished!, The Promise of the Hard Road

PRAYER

 Lord,

Show me how I need to live so you can fulfill your promise. Show me any place where I seek your hand and not your face. Forgive me for my selfishness. I ask that you would give me my heart's desires because then I know they are your desires as well. Change my heart and mind to an eternal mindset, not a temporal one. And, Lord, remind me that the promise is not who I will become but who I am and who I get to live.

 

Thank you for your goodness to me.

Amen

BIBLE READING

Genesis 37— A promise of ruling…that led right into slavery.

Genesis 38—Have you ever wondered how God can take such an unholy mess and make something good out of it? I read chapters like this and wonder, but it also gives me hope. I read these chapters and think, “Surely if He can make something beautiful out of this mess, He can still do good things with messes I’ve made.”

Genesis 39—“² The Lord was with Joseph, and he was a successful man; and he was in the house of his master the Egyptian. 3 And his master saw that the Lord was with him and that the Lord made all he did to prosper in his hand. 4 So Joseph found favor in his sight, and served him. Then he made him overseer of his house, and all that he had he put under his authority. ⁵ So it was, from the time that he had made him overseer of his house and all that he had, that the Lord blessed the Egyptian’s house for Joseph’s sake; and the blessing of the Lord was on all that he had in the house and in the field. 6 Thus he left all that he had in Joseph’s hand, and he did not know what he had except for the bread which he ate.”

Do you get this? Joseph is a slave. This is not the promise. Joseph wasn’t living God’s promise, but he promised to live God. I’ve known, and still know, way too many people who aren’t living the promise who make the lack of promise their identity instead of making their identity one that allows God to keep His promise.

Joseph didn’t live as though he were in lack. He lived as though he were living in the fullness of his identity—his identity was a leader, a man of character, a man of God. The circumstances, social status, and living quarters didn’t define him or he chose to be. The promise wasn’t so much about circumstance as it was identity. He understood the promise wasn't about what he received but who he was to live. His identity is one of greatness, and he chose to live that greatness where he was.

The question I have to keep laying before the Lord is:

Have I chosen to live the promise of greatness no matter what the situation or circumstance, or am I living an identity of lack because my identity is about what I get from about a situation or a circumstance?

 MEMORIZATION

“When seventy years are complete for Babylon, I will come to you and fulfill my good promise to bring you back to this place. For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to do you good and not harm, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will hear you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. I will be found by you,” declares the Lord, “and bring you back from captivity. I will bring you back from the nations and places I banished you, “declares the Lord. “I will return you to the place from which I you into exile.”—Jeremiah 29:10-14

YES!!!!

BIBLE STUDY/JOURNAL

So often people tell the story of Joseph and focus on his slavery, ability to interpret dreams, and his restoration, but the big picture gets lost. I think we don’t like the pattern of promises in the Bible. We like to think promises are made and kept quickly and easily, sort of like sitting on Santa’s lap in early December, dreaming wildly for a week or two, and waking up to find what we want wrapped in pretty paper and bows. But God is not Santa.

God is not about a childhood wish but an eternal purpose, and His great gifts don’t come wrapped in pretty paper under a tree by a warm fire but instead wrapped in swaddling clothes in a cold stable in a manger.

As I’ve been reading through Genesis this time, I’ve noticed a pattern. God gives great promises, and they come with great cost.

No promise comes without the training to hold it and keep it.

Joseph had the promise of being a great leader, and I’m sure being the youngest and being hated made those promises seem like steak to a starving man. Maybe he even told his family about his dreams because he knew what they meant and he hoped to intimidate in some way. I wasn’t there. I don’t know.

All I really know is God gave him a promise and confirmed it. Then God took him through training to hold that promise, and in that training, he was stripped of all he was in order to become all God needed him to be.

Except, was he?

His situation changed. The circumstances changed.

But the promise was never about those.

The promise concerned who he was, and can who we are at a core be stripped from us…or is it simply uncovered when everything in life that might hide it are removed?

January 30, 2014 Genesis 34-36, Family Friday, Do Not Fear But Trust God's Favor

PRAYER

Father God,

I am trying to find a place to start. There are so many friends and family I know who are in need. ICU, hospital, facing surgery, sick kids, flu, financial problems, and more. Lord, they all need peace. They all need to be delivered from fear and anxiety. I ask that you would supernaturally invade their situations and give them peace. I know we have to choose peace, and they probably don’t know how. I don’t always know how, but, Lord, they need you to invade where they are so they can breathe and rest. You do so many things that I have no clue how you do them. I am asking you to do this even when I have no idea how you can.

And I ask that you would be present and obvious in these needs. I ask for those who need favor that you would work in their hearts so they would act in such a way that favor can be given to them. I ask for those praying for healing in their relationships that you would work in their hearts so they are not part of the wound.

Father, for those with relationships that rip open their hearts, give them wisdom to know when to fight and how to fight and when to walk away and trust you for a new beginning. Show them how they are part of the problem, and thus, part of the solution. For those who are keeping you from healing because they keep enabling by not letting go and letting you deal with things, I ask you to show them the truth and give them strength and courage to let you dole out the necessary consequences to get the necessary attention to offer healing.

Holy God, for the ones with babies on the way, give health and rest.

For those preparing to let go, oh, God, give comfort and strength.

For those in transition, I pray you give them vision so they can move forward.

For every need, you are the answer. I ask you to do what you need to do to answer all the needs I know and even the ones I don’t.

Thank you for your faithfulness, love, and mercy to my friends and family.

To you be all glory.

Amen

BIBLE READING

 Genesis 34— A bit of an extreme response? Maybe, but I like their passion. “Should they have treated our sister like she was nothing?” I would hope their reaction would demonstrate to her at least they knew she was valuable.

 Genesis 35—Aren’t you glad God still changes names?

 Genesis 36—Got to love lineage chapters, don’t you?

 MEMORIZATION

Genesis 33

¹⁰ “No, please!” said Jacob. “If I have found favor in your eyes, accept this gift from me. For to see your face is like seeing the face of God, now that you have received me favorably.”

Today I remember…

For to see your face is like seeing the face of God, now that you have received me favorably.

BIBLE STUDY/JOURNAL

Today we had to close a savings account for one of my children. My husband set it up when our daughter was born, and he did not put my name on it, only his and hers. Because she is a minor, she still does not have power over it, and because my name is not on it, I have no power of it. I have dealt with this particular financial institution before concerning some of my husband’s financial issues, and it was horrible. It was as though they were determined to make life as hard as possible and be as disagreeable as possible. It was as though they had set themselves against us.

On the drive over, I was fighting dread and anxiety, and once again, the Spirit reminded me:

Have I not commanded you?

Be strong and courageous.
Do not be afraid.
Do not be discouraged.
The Lord your God will be with you where you go.

So I prayed. “Lord, give us favor, and help my attitude and countenance be one that allows you to work favorably toward.”

The woman who helped us was delightful. When she said my husband would have to close the account, I handed her the death certificate and explained that he has been dead nearly three years. Forty-five minutes later, we walked out of the bank with a check in hand, and the account was closed.

“For to see your face is like seeing the face of God, now that you have received me favorably.”

Holy God, thank you for letting us see your face today. Amen.

January 30, 2014 Genesis, Praying for Our Community, Memorizing the Face of God

PRAYER

Father God,

I don’t know everybody in my community. I don’t know their individuals needs. I only know they all need you. I ask you to pour out the Holy Spirit on our community. I ask you to reveal yourself in their quiet places. Get their attention in the way you need to. Lord, I am not asking for you to do hard things to them, but I’m asking you to be more concerned about their souls than their comfort. I’m asking you to affect the temporal so they understand the importance and reality of the eternal.

Lord, make my home a place where people find you. I ask that my family would be an example of Christ in our community. Invade our community through us. Love through us. Serve through us. Give us creative ways to reach into their lives, and, Lord, eradicate all fear from us that keeps us in our own home and out of theirs. Reveal any fear that keeps us from being open to loving.

I ask you to create divine appointments so we meet people. Give us insight into how to build relationships, and during conversation, I pray we would listen more than talk. Give us a deep love—YOUR love—for these people that you have put within our reach. Help us to never forget our greatest mission field is right next door. You placed us here to live you. Invade through us.

Show us anything that prevents you from being everything in our community you want to be. Change our hearts. Open our minds. Fill us with you.

Bless our community for your glory and their salvation.

In Jesus name I pray,

Amen

BIBLE READING

 

Genesis 31—Again, so much here, but the take away is simple: Jacob had a promise. Despite the promise, he worked hard, and it did not look like the promise sounded. STILL, he saw the hand of God. STILL, he gave Him glory. STILL, he said, “What I have is good, and it was all given to me by God.” Instead of looking at what wasn’t, he was totally focused on what was. Instead of grumbling, he poured out gratitude.

Want to change your life? Try Jacob’s approach.

Live with excellence.
Live in the blessing.
Be grateful despite the hardships.
Realize God is in the hardships.
Flourish anyway.

Genesis 32— ⁹ Then Jacob prayed, “O God of my father Abraham, God of my father Isaac, Lord, you who said to me, ‘Go back to your country and your relatives, and I will make you prosper,’ ¹⁰ I am unworthy of all the kindness and faithfulness you have shown your servant. I had only my staff when I crossed this Jordan, but now I have become two camps. ¹¹ Save me, I pray, from the hand of my brother Esau, for I am afraid he will come and attack me, and also the mothers with their children. ¹² But you have said, ‘I will surely make you prosper and will make your descendants like the sand of the sea, which cannot be counted.’”

Translation:

I know the promise. I *KNOW* the promise. God in heaven, help me live it. I am not worthy, but you are faithful. I am afraid of what might happen, but you promised. Despite my fear, you are faithful, Oh God. You are faithful.
 
But he replied, “Why do you ask my name?” Then he blessed him there.

I never understood that until today. What he is really asking is, “Why do you even need to ask? Don’t you know?”

Just wow.

Genesis 33— For to see your face is like seeing the face of God, now that you have received me favorably.

Translation:

“Your receiving me with favor is such an obvious act of God, it is like looking directly upon Him.”

Holy God, may my eyes be opened to see your face in the blessings and favor you bestow. May the kindnesses and mercies you give be so evident to me that I see you clearly in them.

MEMORIZATION

Genesis 33

¹⁰ “No, please!” said Jacob. “If I have found favor in your eyes, accept this gift from me. For to see your face is like seeing the face of God, now that you have received me favorably.”

Today I want to remember…
For to see your face is like seeing the face of God, now that you have received me favorably.

I want to remember when there is favor, there is God’s face, and remember, what we know by heart, the heart knows. I want to always know…for to see your face is like seeing the face of God, now that you have received me favorably. I always want to know the face of God.

BIBLE STUDY/JOURNAL

I am lost in seeing your face in the kindnesses you give. I am wondering how much of what has been called “attacks” that has left me struggling mentally, emotionally, or spiritually is really my inability or even my refusal to see your face. And, Lord, my heart is broken to think I could miss your face. Holy God, forgive me. Forgive me for being so critical and judgmental of what I think you should give that I don’t see how truly generous you are. It hurts me to think you could be pouring out so much love on me and me never see it because I’m angry that you aren’t what I want you to be or your gifts don’t fit what I think needs to be your priority. Oh, God, I am sorry. Forgive me. Open my eyes, Lord. Open my eyes. I want to see your face.

January 29, 2014 Genesis 28-30, More Mama Drama, Verse Review, Love isn't Easy

PRAYER

Lord,

Encourage me.  Our nation is so far from you. Our leaders have no fear of you, and the public calls what is holy profane and what is profane glorious, and how can you be anything but sickened? And the refusal of so many in the church to take a stand because they do not want to offend so they declare “everyone has the right to be happy”even if it means You have no right to expect us to be holy…oh, God, I am overwhelmed by how far from you we have fallen. Encourage my faith because, Lord, I don’t know how to even begin to pray.

And even as I search for words, I hear your words in my mind, “Am I not mighty to save? Am I not the ALL mighty God? Is America too difficult for me?”

No, Lord, not even America is too difficult for you. There is nothing too difficult for you. So I lay America at your feet and ask you to be all mighty in this nation. I ask you to do what has to be done to turn the hearts of this nation to you. I do not ask for superficial blessings but blessings of your presence, of your holiness, of hearts turning to you.

Lord, do above all I think or imagine. We are in desperate need. America is blind and grasping for straws when what we need is a Savior, not of human mind or wisdom but of heavenly decent. We don’t need a human leader. We need heaven’s Lamb. Lord, we have embraced sinful lifestyles and called it love. We have forgotten that you love us too much to leave us in sin. But then, maybe we’ve never repented of our own sin, so how can we see anything wrong with anyone else’s?

Lord, destroy anything in your body that is not of you. Convict us where we have accepted false philosophies or called “redeemed” that which is wholly unrighteous. Oh, God, we don’t know. We just don’t know. Have mercy on us and tear back the blankets we lie under and show us the ways we prostitute ourselves to all other gods but you. Show us our idols whether they be things or traditions or comfort zones or the latest answer.

Lord, you are the only answer. You are the only answer.

Hear my cry, Lord. Hear my cry.

Amen.

BIBLE READING

Genesis 28—Generation number three, and the promise is still being fulfilled. By the way, did you notice what God said? “I will not leave you until I have done what I have promised you.” Translation: Haven’t seen the promise fulfilled yet? Then I’m still here. Still working on it. Still being faithful.

Genesis 29—Every time I read this I feel such compassion for Leah. She was part of the promise, and from her came the Lion of the tribe of Judah, but my lands, what a hard part to play.

Genesis 30—And the baby mama drama continues, but there is more than that. Did you notice that Jacob did his work with excellence, and even though he was in a foreign country, the excellence of his work blessed him and increased him?

MEMORIZATION

As I mentioned in an earlier post today, my brain is fuzzy, but I’m still plodding on. One of the great things about having verses already memorized is when your brain is fuzzy, the Word isn’t. I lay in my bed today feeling too nauseous to sit up and let the verses roll through my mind. Even in my sickness, His promises are solid. THAT is something we can’t afford to forget.

 BIBLE STUDY/JOURNAL

 

Today I still pondering the concept of excellence even in a less than excellent circumstance. I wonder about Christians we have the idea that life will be easy. Jesus never promised that. Yet, people seem to think a promise of blessings means the hard road will suddenly become easy and the trials and tests will suddenly disappear.

The truth is if we truly believe the promise, we know the promise takes us to places we could never go on our own. The promise alone will stretch us to the point of breaking because it is only in our weakest point that His great strength can show. We have to be broken to be blessed.

If we can make things happen, if things come easily, if life is a comfort zone, we’ll never realize the sacrifice of Christ leaving His comfort zone to invade our death march. Until we die with Him, we will never understand the power of His death. We will never understand the love that gives us life until we understand what it means to love Him enough to die.

 

January 29, 2014--Grace

Once again, my sinuses are sludge-filled. My ears are roaring, and I cannot seem to think through two sentences at once. I have taken medicine to alleviate the symptoms. I give sincere thanks for the medicine, but the side effects make it hard to function.

I lay on my bed and prayed for our country.

I did review my memory verses as best I could, but I can't hold onto anything new.

I can't focus on the passage before me to make it worth trying to read the Bible at this point. Maybe after the meds have cleared my system some.

For now, I am lying down with a cold wash cloth over my face trying not to be sick at my stomach and working on keeping the room from spinning.

These days happen. There is grace.

If you are reading the Bible through with me by reading 3 chapters a day. Keep reading. I'll catch up.

Blessings,
Jerri

January 28, 2014 Praying for my Church, Genesis 25-27, Belief and Work Go Hand in Hand

PRAYER

 Lord,

Be with the leaders of my church today. I know they are seeking you to know how to best lead us that we may know you and live the lives you desire for us. Give them insight, knowledge, wisdom, and understanding. Answer them when they call to you.

 Give them wisdom for prospering in their marriages and families. They are so focused on blessing our church. I ask that you would keep before them the importance of blessing their family. Your word says a man who cannot lead his family cannot lead your body. I think that is because a family goes awry when priorities are wrong. When eyes wonder to power, worldly success, laziness, and selfishness, a family goes awry. Holy Spirit, give these men and women wisdom to keep their priorities right, to know the only success is in seeking and serving you. Give them hearts for their families.

 Give them permission to rest. I’ve met too many pastors who do not know they are called to rest. I ask you to give these men and women wisdom to rest and be still. Bless them with your restoration and presence. Bless them with deep breathing of you and the joy that is found in just being with you.

 Lord, thank you for these men and women who desire you and have answered your call to be leaders and shepherds. Bless them and their families richly.

 To you be all glory,

Amen

BIBLE READING

Genesis 25—Ishmael lived in hostility toward all the tribes related to him. Really? Can you blame him?
 
^“21 Isaac prayed to the Lord on behalf of his wife, because she was childless.” I wish husbands really understood this. So much deep stuff right here in this one sentence. So much poverty in marriage and relationships because men do not understand their roles as husbands and intercessors for their wives.

Oh, by the way, did you notice? Twenty years passed from the time of marriage till the promised babies came. Again, learning to hold on when the promise takes so much time…

Genesis 26—HUGE thing to see here. Isaac was in someone else’s territory. He didn’t have his own place yet, but God blessed him so much that the Philistines became afraid of him and asked him to leave. This seems like a small thing, and it is easy to read over it, but so many people I know are living in a foreign land, whether it be in a rental house or their job or a city where they would rather not be. Too often all they see is how things aren’t just what they want. Some may be there because they didn’t heed the call to get up and move. That is their fault, but in this case, Isaac was exactly where God told him to go, and it wasn’t his. It wasn’t the promise fulfilled, but it was still a place of prosperity.

I know folks who are miserable to talk to because all they talk about is how this place isn’t the promise fulfilled, and this is not what they Daddy wants for them, and this is not what they were promised, and the enemy is stealing from them. They don’t stop to think about the blessing of where they are. In Isaac’s case, he had someone covering him. He had someone protecting him from invaders. He had the covering of the king. He didn’t have to worry about safety or a lot “overhead” issues of being totally independent. Someone else could worry about those and let him focus on his crops and herds. Yes, Isaac was in a foreign country, but, God blessed him there.

And I want to point out too, Isaac didn’t just sit on his backside and wait for God to pour out heaven on him. He worked. He worked the soil. He tended the animals. He put in the effort so God could pour out the blessing.

It says Isaac reopened the wells the Philistines clogged. This is so deep with good stuff, but I just want to say one  thing: Isaac didn’t sit and whine about how someone had stolen his water or filled in his well. He did what had to be done to restore the blessing of water. He actively took back what his father had done.

Oh, my goodness, so much depth in this chapter!!! I don’t want to leave. I want to camp out here all day, but alas, this is not a dig a well and make it home reading. This is just a drive through tour, but I will have to come back on my own with a glass of tea and stay awhile.

Genesis 27—“Let the curse fall on me.” I wonder how many times she regretted that choice and those words. I wonder if having to send her son away and not seeing him was a curse to her.

 

MEMORIZATION

I reviewed several verses I’ve memorized this month. I try to review them once a week just to keep them fresh. How is your memorizing going?

 

BIBLE STUDY/JOURNAL

I wrote a lot of my thoughts above, so I won’t spend time here, but I am pondering deeply on Isaac and his obedience. He didn’t just wait for the promise. He did what it took for God to bless him.

Lord, what do I need to be doing so you can bless me and prosper me? What am I doing wrong, and what am I not doing right?

Blessings, y’all.