Living What the Heart Knows

Be still.

And know.

I am God.

Psalm 46:10

I do not recall if I have stated it here, but the simple fact is I am exhausted on all levels--spiritually, mentally, emotionally, and thus, physically. The last four years have taken a large toll, and I have reached the bottom of my reserves.

For a variety of reasons, I have tried to battle on anyway.

I was afraid if I stopped writing, no one would be here to read it when I returned.

I was afraid if I admitted my utter exhaustion, I would get what I got last week and people would tell me to stop being weak and to man up and fulfill my destiny and who did I think I was to sit around when the world is going to hell in a handbasket?

I was afraid people would think I am weak because I didn't just dig deeper or find that other gear or hit that extra switch. Except there is nothing else to dig into. I have no other gear, and all my switches are running on high.

I was afraid of failing God by not taking responsibility for my gifts and using them to build the kingdom and bless others.

I was afraid if I didn't lay a certain foundation or take certain steps then I wouldn't have made the right preparations to receive my personal promises He has made.

"Have I not commanded you?
Be strong and courageous.
Do not be afraid.
Do not be discouraged,
For the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go."
--Joshua 1:9--

Last night I spent about two hours talking with a friend. We both know God always answers prayers, so where was the answer? We talked through the "stuff" until it became loud and clear.

"Take some personal time."

In case I missed it, I hopped on Facebook earlier today, and my friend Lisa had posted a picture with Psalm 46:10 on it. :-)

I won't bore you with the details of the whole conversation with my friend or with the Lord after the phone conversation. I might write about it someday, but for now, the pertinent information is...

For the next three months, I am taking "personal time". I will not be blogging, writing for a deadline or clear purpose, ministering in a formal way, or any other activities requiring energy beyond raising my kids and making a home. Whenever my Healer and Great Physician say I am allowed to return, I will, and I hope y'all are all here to catch up with then.

Until then, y'all take care. Be blessed. Know you are loved wildly, and always take time to...

Be still
And know.
He is God.

Blessings, y'all!

Come Unto Me...And I Will Give You Rest

I have tried multiple times to write a blog post about why I have gotten so quiet.

In short, physically I am very tired. The multiple oral surgeries, headcold, loss of sleep, being the only parent, and life have left me physically exhausted, and after much prayer, I have agreed with God to rest and sleep until I'm not sleepy anymore and all my mental faculties are actually functioning again.

Mentally and emotionally, which is a lot of folks' concerns since we just came through February, after much prayer on some things, the directive, "Stand down," is loud and clear, so I am.

Spiritually, it's an intense time, and if you have ever gone through an intense time of restoration with God, I don't have to tell you. If you haven't, it won't matter if I do, so just know the beautiful thing is I am in one of the most intense rest and restoration experiences of my life, and I am excited about the end result. There is peace beyond anything I can describe...along with the emotional upheaval that goes with the process.

So, the summary is simply that I am exhausted on all levels, and it's time to stand down, so I've stepped off the internet and phone and text and am spending a lot of time simply sitting in His presence. It's good. It's not always easy, but it's good.

And for those wondering, you can email/text me (I prefer to avoid FB messages if possible). I will reply. :-) I'm not on an electronics fast, just letting all of me do some healing. Thank you for caring, wondering, asking, and praying. You are gifts beyond measure, and I thank God for you. <3