Living What the Heart Knows

Be still.

And know.

I am God.

Psalm 46:10

I do not recall if I have stated it here, but the simple fact is I am exhausted on all levels--spiritually, mentally, emotionally, and thus, physically. The last four years have taken a large toll, and I have reached the bottom of my reserves.

For a variety of reasons, I have tried to battle on anyway.

I was afraid if I stopped writing, no one would be here to read it when I returned.

I was afraid if I admitted my utter exhaustion, I would get what I got last week and people would tell me to stop being weak and to man up and fulfill my destiny and who did I think I was to sit around when the world is going to hell in a handbasket?

I was afraid people would think I am weak because I didn't just dig deeper or find that other gear or hit that extra switch. Except there is nothing else to dig into. I have no other gear, and all my switches are running on high.

I was afraid of failing God by not taking responsibility for my gifts and using them to build the kingdom and bless others.

I was afraid if I didn't lay a certain foundation or take certain steps then I wouldn't have made the right preparations to receive my personal promises He has made.

"Have I not commanded you?
Be strong and courageous.
Do not be afraid.
Do not be discouraged,
For the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go."
--Joshua 1:9--

Last night I spent about two hours talking with a friend. We both know God always answers prayers, so where was the answer? We talked through the "stuff" until it became loud and clear.

"Take some personal time."

In case I missed it, I hopped on Facebook earlier today, and my friend Lisa had posted a picture with Psalm 46:10 on it. :-)

I won't bore you with the details of the whole conversation with my friend or with the Lord after the phone conversation. I might write about it someday, but for now, the pertinent information is...

For the next three months, I am taking "personal time". I will not be blogging, writing for a deadline or clear purpose, ministering in a formal way, or any other activities requiring energy beyond raising my kids and making a home. Whenever my Healer and Great Physician say I am allowed to return, I will, and I hope y'all are all here to catch up with then.

Until then, y'all take care. Be blessed. Know you are loved wildly, and always take time to...

Be still
And know.
He is God.

Blessings, y'all!

Come Unto Me...And I Will Give You Rest

I have tried multiple times to write a blog post about why I have gotten so quiet.

In short, physically I am very tired. The multiple oral surgeries, headcold, loss of sleep, being the only parent, and life have left me physically exhausted, and after much prayer, I have agreed with God to rest and sleep until I'm not sleepy anymore and all my mental faculties are actually functioning again.

Mentally and emotionally, which is a lot of folks' concerns since we just came through February, after much prayer on some things, the directive, "Stand down," is loud and clear, so I am.

Spiritually, it's an intense time, and if you have ever gone through an intense time of restoration with God, I don't have to tell you. If you haven't, it won't matter if I do, so just know the beautiful thing is I am in one of the most intense rest and restoration experiences of my life, and I am excited about the end result. There is peace beyond anything I can describe...along with the emotional upheaval that goes with the process.

So, the summary is simply that I am exhausted on all levels, and it's time to stand down, so I've stepped off the internet and phone and text and am spending a lot of time simply sitting in His presence. It's good. It's not always easy, but it's good.

And for those wondering, you can email/text me (I prefer to avoid FB messages if possible). I will reply. :-) I'm not on an electronics fast, just letting all of me do some healing. Thank you for caring, wondering, asking, and praying. You are gifts beyond measure, and I thank God for you. <3

February 24, 2014--Exodus 7-9, Military Support; When You Can't Think Straight, You Remember

PRAYER

Daddy,

It is Military Monday, and I’m concerned about our military. I am concerned about the government’s lack of respect for our military. Right now we are in election season, and I ask you to put men and women in office who support our military. I ask you to put leaders in all areas of care and policy that truly want to serve our military men and women.

 Daddy, our military sacrifices so much for us. I ask you to stand for those who stand for our military and stand against those who don’t. That simple. You said you would bless those who bless me and curse those who curse me. Anyone who does not supply and support the military you have put in place to protect and serve my family curses me and my family. I ask you to keep your word and stand against them. On the other hand, for those who support our military, fight for their benefits, see to serve them and get them care they need, bless my family. I ask you to bless them. Do what you need to do to take care of our military and their families.

 Thank you for being a warrior God who loves our warriors.

Amen

 BIBLE READING

Exodus 7— First of all, telling people what they don’t want to hear, even when you know it is God, is not the easiest thing. And second, why in the world would you make more blood when it was already everywhere and the whole land stunk from it? This is insane to me!

Exodus 8—Seriously?! Get rid of the frogs TOMORROW?! Right now!!!

And making more gnats? Speechless.
“NOW pray for me.” It makes me giggle that Moses said, “No problem. The flies will be gone TOMORROW.”

Exodus 9—The truth is, it is easy for me to skim these chapters because I know the stories, but it took me a few readings to realize there are things I didn’t know. The point when these really started to make sense to me, though, was when  I started thinking about it from an Egyptian perspective. The slave labor going away and the change it would cause. The devastation to the land. Seeing it destroy Egypt but not Goshen. What was it like for the Hebrews? They watched God take on every “god” of the Egyptians and destroy them. So why did they worry in the desert? And I think Pharaoh was crazy, but he believed he was deity. He believed somehow he was going to come out on top, and even if he didn’t win, he couldn’t afford to lose.

 It seems ridiculous, but it makes me slide to my knees and ask the Lord, in my life, when do I stand against you because of my pride, my tradition, my refusal to let go of something I want? Do I ever know I can’t win, but I am too arrogant to lose?

 MEMORIZATION

 Head cold wins this one. I’m even writing down times when I take my meds, but this I know:

Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death (or a really annoying cold) you are with me.

You comfort me.
You provide for me.
You are preparing the victory for me.
I lack nothing.
Psalm 23, paraphrased from memory.

BIBLE STUDY/JOURNAL

The point of memorizing scripture is to hold on to what you know when you are too sick or tired to learn something new. A broad base of verses is good because then no matter what comes, you have a place to stand firmly.

 
Copyright 2014 Jerri Kelley Phillips

February 23, 2014--Exodus 4-6, It was Never About What Moses Could Do, Luke 6

Still letting my body fight this head cold. It isn’t my favorite thing, but I am amazed at how much less miserable I am now than I was three months ago before all the oral surgeries. It has not been an easy road. Truth be told, multiple times along the way I wondered if I had made a mistake, if I had chosen badly, but the truth is there was no other choice. It has left me pondering…

PRAYER

Daddy,

Thank you for taking me through hard times of healing so the rest of life is better. Thank you for your mercy, even when I hate the pain. You are good.

Amen.

BIBLE READING

Exodus 4 —God got mad at Moses. Do you have any idea how much the idea of making God mad because I refuse to be and do what He asks scares me? This has been a scary thought for me my whole life. God wasn’t mad because Moses killed an Egyptian or because he ran away into the desert. He was mad because Moses refused to be obedient. Sin isn’t just doing the wrong thing. Sin is not doing the right thing.

Um, so God was going to kill Moses. Yeah. I got nothing on that one.

Good news is all the Israelites are ready to pack and go. That’s good. Right?

Exodus 5—Well bother. I don’t think anyone hears, “God is for you and is going to save you,” and expects things to get WORSE, but they did, and I can understand the Israelites dressing down Moses and Aaron saying, “You said you were going to help, and look what you’ve done!” And poor Moses. Can you imagine how confused he was? He was supposed to be helping, and instead, his people are suffering worse conditions and being beaten. I can fully understand why he went to the Lord and said, “I’m not understanding this, and this does not look like what you said it would.”

It didn’t look like what God said.

And I think if I were Moses, I would be confused, too, and maybe even hurt. Plus, he didn’t even want to do this gig, but he is, and instead of getting better, it’s worse.

I’d be confused, too.

Exodus 6—As hard as it is to imagine, Pharaoh exerting his power was necessary. The people needed to see Pharaoh at his worst. They needed to see him act against them because it was the only they could truly understand the power of God working for them.

Okay. Never got this before. Prior to this, God was the God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob. NOW, He was going to be the God of the entire nation. He wasn’t just promising one person, He was promising them all.

And still, Moses wasn’t getting it. “Why would Pharaoah listen to me?” He still didn’t know. It wasn’t about him. It was about God.

 

MEMORIZATION

Luke 6

27 “But I say to you who hear: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, 
28 bless those who curse you, and pray for those who spitefully use you.  

Heavy blog coming on this one. I’ll let you know when it is up.

BIBLE STUDY/JOURNAL

It was never about Moses and what he could do. It was always about God and what He said He would do.

Copyright 2014 Jerri Kelley Phillips

February 22, 2014--Exodus 1-3, Standing in What We Don't Know

PRAYER

Daddy,

I can’t think clearly enough for eloquence, so let me just lay it on the table. Israel is your people, and I am asking you to lay their enemies low. I am asking you to bring down the enemies of Israel with a mighty hand. Bring them down like mountains into dust. I ask that anyone who has the audacity to set themselves up against your people see your hand of judgment raised against them. Be with your people and bless them.

Amen

BIBLE READING

Exodus 1—So everybody we used to know is dead, including the nice pharaoh. Fear has come into play, and we try to control or get rid of what we fear. One of the things I love about this chapter is that the midwives feared God and He gave them families of their own. Gotta love God. J

Exodus 2—I cannot imagine how terrifying it was for Moses’ mom to put him in that basket and leave him in that river where wild animals were and who know what would happen to him. I don’t know if she was a woman of faith or a woman of desperation, but that took tremendous courage.

So life is cushy in the palace, and Moses sees an Egyptian hitting a Hebrew, and he snaps. Next thing you know, he’s in a desert getting married and having babies. Do you wonder if Moses ever sat in that desert and wondered if he had blown it? Did he know he was the deliverer for the Hebrews? Did he think he had blown it beyond redemption? Just wondering.

 Exodus 3—Okay, so let me get this straight. If I am Moses, I am thinking, “You want me to go to Pharaoh, the same Pharaoh I made really mad by killing one his men, the same Pharaoh who tried to kill me, and tell him that this God he can’t see wants him to let all the slaves go, and I will know this is you AFTER we are safe on the other side?”

 And I love this. Moses asks, “Who am I to do this?”

 God does not reply with anything about Moses. He answers concerning Himself. “I will be with you.”

 Simple enough. This is NOTHING about you. This is ALL about me. Not hard.

 Except, it is hard, and people sit there and mouth about Moses’ lack of faith, but really, I think I can understand. God is going to be with him, but it’s not like he can take this non-burning bush around with him to prove it, and not only will the Israelites have their doubts, but Pharaoh is going to be difficult and need miraculous proof.

 “And who am I supposed to tell them told me to do this?”

 “I Am that I Am.”

 I mean seriously. Think about this for a moment. Just…yeah, I can see why Moses is a bit hesitant.

 MEMORIZATION

Muddled minds don’t memorize well, so today I’m reading. For reasons I will blog about later, I am reading Proverbs 31. And her Husband shall rise up and call her blessed. So let it be for me, Lord.

BIBLE STUDY/JOURNAL

I am pondering Moses and how easy it is to stand in what we can see instead of walking in what we can't.

 

Copyright 2014 Jerri Kelley Phillips

February 20, Genesis 49 and 50, Everybody's Dead. Now What?

PRAYER

Daddy,

I lift up my community to you, and I know there are a lot of people who don’t know you as Lord and Savior, and I know others know you are God and think that is enough. I ask that you would make me a light in their darkness, that the relationship I have with you would be a beacon to them. Create divine connections and appointments so I can talk to them and you can be glorified. Show me a way into their lives.

Bless these people with healing they need in every area of life. Bless them financially and especially bless them relationally. I know some are looking for healing in their families, and I ask that you would bless them with that.

Give our leaders wisdom, and be glorified in them and their decisions. Lord, may you above all things be the center of this area.

And, Lord, we need rain. I ask that you would send us rain.

In the precious name of Jesus I pray,

 Amen

 BIBLE READING

 Genesis 49—Sometimes I want to go back and actually follow the family lines to see what happened to them. Maybe I’ll do that.

Genesis 50— Two thoughts: 1. Did the Egyptians give this monstrous caravan and honor because this man was Joseph’s father or because of the man himself? Does it say and I just missed it? I don’t know.

2. Why did Joseph weep again? Was it because his brothers were still stuck in their emotional and mental guilt prison or because even after all the time with him, they didn’t know him? Was he grieved because he still didn’t really belong? They still saw him as an outsider?

Done with Genesis!!! How are you feeling?

 

MEMORIZATION

27 “But to you who are listening I say:

Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you,
28 bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you.—Luke 6
 
Do you ever wonder why certain things stick in your head and others you really have to fight for? I’m having to fight for Luke 1:37-38

“No word of the Lord will ever fail.”

“I am the Lord’s servant,” Mary answered. “May it be fulfilled to me as you have said.”
Then the angel left her.
 
37 For no word from God will ever fail.”
38 “I am the Lord’s servant,” Mary answered.
“May your word to me be fulfilled.”
Then the angel left her.

Still fighting for this.

BIBLE STUDY/JOURNAL

 
I have tried to handle this valiantly. However, I am so sleepy I could fall asleep right now, so I think I am going to do just that. I’ll see you tomorrow. Probably later than usual, but I’ll see you.

Blessings,

Jerri

February 19, 2014, Genesis 46-48, Election Prayers, Muppet Mayhem, Obedience

After 8:30, and I’m just getting to this. Up with kids most of the night, one sick and one with a neck injury, and to curb the sinus overabundance, I tried some allergy medication, which has had me either a sleep or a in fog most of the day. Days like this happen, and it is easy to get discouraged and wonder why I try because after all, it’s after 8:30 at night, and who is going to read it anyway?

Well, the truth is I don’t know if anyone is going to read it, but I made a commitment to do this to the best of my ability, and today, this is my best. So even if no one reads it, my Lord sees my obedience, and I am learning that is the whole point of life. Obedience. To Him. Even when there is no clear result…because obedience to Him is the only result that matters.

PRAYER

Daddy,

Our nation has started the election process, and I’m asking for people to lead us whose hearts are for you. I don’t care if they are Republican, Democrat, independent, or whatever. I’m simply praying for them to have your heart.

Be with those who are endeavoring to run honorable campaigns. Give them peace.

Stand against those who are liars and cheaters and use manipulation to gain an upper hand.

In accordance with your Word, I ask…

…that you bring an end to the violence of the wicked and make the righteous secure. (Psalm 7:9)

…for the power of the wicked to be broken but for you to uphold the righteous. (Psalm 37:17 )

…for you to cut off the horns of all the wicked but to lift up the horns of the righteous (Psalm 75:10)

…you to rescue the righteous person from trouble and let it fall on the wicked instead (Proverbs 11:8)

…that the righteous would prosper and the city rejoice while the wicked perish (Proverbs 11:10)

…that no one be established through wickedness but that the righteous would not be uprooted (Proverbs 12:3)

…that the wicked would be overthrown and never rise again  but that the house of the righteous stand firm (Proverbs 12:7)

…that no harm would overtake the righteous but that the wicked would have their fill of trouble. (Proverbs 12:21)

…that righteousness would guard the person of integrity but that wickedness would overthrow the sinner (Proverbs 13:6)

…that the light of righteous shine brightly, but the lamp of the wicked be snuffed out (Proverbs 13:9)

Thank you for hearing my prayer on behalf of this nation.

Amen

BIBLE READING

Genesis 46—Oh, seriously. I saw “Muppin” and my brain made it “muppet”. Hard to get anything deeply spiritual out of muppets. Sorry.

Genesis 47—Honestly, I’m too tired for anything deep. But Joseph saved everyone. I did have one thought: what was it like for Pharaoh to be blessed by this man of God? Did Pharaoh know it was powerful? Did he realize he was in the presence of greatness? Did he miss it because he believed he was a god-king? Do I miss things because I think I am above the person giving them to me? Do I realize the gifts and blessings even when  the giver seems so…ordinary?

Genesis 48—So why did the boys get credited to Israel? I don’t know, but again, not a trip through to study, just taking a look around, so I’ll look it up later.

MEMORIZATION

My mantra today.

 ^37 “For no word from God will ever fail.”

³⁸ “I am the Lord’s servant,” Mary answered.
“May your word to me be fulfilled.”
Then the angel left her.
Luke 1

BIBLE STUDY/JOURNAL

I have tried to hand this valiantly. However, I am so sleepy I could fall asleep right now, so I think I am going to do just that. I’ll see you tomorrow. Probably later than usual, but I’ll see you.

Blessings,

Jerri